Chapter 13: Shadows of Motivation

It really is something, writing a novel.  It’s your precious baby that takes months to finish.  One of the hardest parts?  You have no positive affirmation until several drafts in, when you finally feel it’s good enough to show to your beta reader.  Personally, I’m also a part-time author.  This means even the first draft takes me several months to write.  I worked on my last novel for six months before I gave it to the first of my beta readers.

What does that mean?  Any encouragement is most likely only coming to come from you.  Yes, you have a support group (I hope).  Personally I like to text both my sister and best friend different word count updates literally just to hear back that they’re excited about my progress.  I need to be reaffirmed.  Sue me.  But, is that enough?

Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it.  I’m a full-time student, and if you’re not in my boat I’m assuming most of you have a full-time job.  Either way, whenever I have free time my brain is simply too tired to write.  Instead I always take a nap, watch a show on Netflix (I just finished Parks and Rec in only two weeks), or even read.  Let’s not forget about the social life.  When is the time to write?? Well, it’s there.  For sure.  But I have to create it.

That’s easier said than done.  First, I have to find the motivation to even begin, and sometimes, I simply can’t find it.  I’ve kept track of my word count per day (which I of course plan to share upon this novel’s completion) and let me tell you: there are a lot of ‘0’ days.  I have random spikes where I exceed my word count, and some random days where I don’t even hit 1,000 words.

Now, I’ve always been the forgetful type.  This means that my google calendar is filled with every little thing that I have to do.  My phone reminds me and thank goodness, because otherwise I wouldn’t get anything done.  Then I thought about it.  Why am I not scheduling my writing?  I mean, up until now, I’ve always approached it as “once I finish this assignment, I’ll write.”

Screw that!

I went through my calendar and specifically allotted time to write.  It gives me the reliance that I’ve accounted for the time – instead of thinking “I should be studying” or “There’s still that assignment.”  I know that somewhere in my calendar I’ve allotted the appropriate amount of hours for that shit too!  So when I’m writing, I can be completely present.  It’s been such a simple decision.

But the results?  I’ve doubled my weekly word count.  I’m curious how you get yourself back on track when your motivation hides for a bit?

Chapter 10: Writing Depression and Progress Regression

Oh yes… the subject everyone deals with but nobody likes to talk about.  As I’ve said before, short stories come to my aid when I’m in need of some kind of self-accomplishment.  While that in itself is a beautiful thing (and one that I love doing) it also comes in tow with more rejection.  I have received one rejection every two weeks or less since October.  Still, to say I’ve gone numb to the feeling would be a lie.

I often still find myself falling into the dark pit of depression.  In all fairness, who wouldn’t?  No matter how many times a loved one tells you your work is good, it still doesn’t hold the same value to a stranger saying the same.  I’m not saying my support system is fruitless; in fact, they’re the only reason I haven’t given up.  With that said, someone at least putting me on the waiting list would be a nice pat on the back.  It’s so hard right now to find the motivation to write anything, because what good is a book if it’s not being read?

On happier news, I just finished my YA Fantasy novel, The Freedom Game, and am beginning to send out my query letters to agents.  I know there will be countless bullets to my heart before I hear a happy response, and that’s assuming I hear one at all.  …If you’re an agent into YA Fantasy, feel free to email me 😉

I started this book on January 1, 2017, so you can indeed say I’ve spent a lot of time on its betterment.  I have to admit, though, part of the reason is because, well, I just wouldn’t write.  It’s hard to find the motivation when you’re not reaping any rewards.  It seems like it’s you against the world, and the inner desire to write is beaten down by all the little things.

Still, my book’s become so near and dear to my heart that I’ve decided no matter how many battles lie ahead, I will publish it.  Self-publishing is a beautiful thing, and with my degree in finance I think I could do it decently well.  After all ‘self’ means the only approval I need is my own, and thus no one is poking a stick at my head telling me ‘You’re not good enough.’

Now, I’m no fool.  I know I’m not the only writer who goes through this kind of pain.  So, below I put a list of what I personally do to try to claw my way out of the pit.

  1. Drink tea. Simple, I know; but, also powerful.  The reason I’m putting this first is because I think you should do it while trying out my other ideas.  Drinking tea while sitting there crying won’t have the same effects as drinking tea while reading a book for instance.  But seriously, have you ever tried Yogi Stress Reliever Tea?  If not, you should!  It’s not an instant cure as much as a slow-proving one.  It also has the habit of making me sleepy, proving that it does indeed calm my nerves.
  2. Watch a movie that’s so bad it’s funny. This is a weird one, I know, but it has multiple benefits.  It doesn’t require any brain power, and so you can spend your time laughing your butt off and just letting loose.  It’s amazing how a bad film can actually take you away from the miseries of reality.  Also, it doesn’t hurt to know that there’s art out there that’s much, much worse than your own (Sad to say, but true).  One Netflix show that I would suggest for this exact purpose is ‘Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Return.’  It’s hilariously stupid and gets me laughing.
  3. Go on a walk/hike. Personally, I live in Florida.  Aka flat and humid.  That doesn’t stop me from walking in the mornings, though.  I love to find random nooks where a trail is hidden in the middle of city, etc.  If you’re in basically any other state, there’s probably easy walks with glorious sights.  There’s something to be said about leaving your apartment, even if it is to something as simple as walk.  Different location translates to different emotions.
  4. Go to the gym. No, don’t run away.  Even if you are, I got you running ;).  It’s science; working out releases endorphins.  Endorphins make you happy.    I’m not saying you have to go every day; far from it.  The gym is a place of noise.  Weights falling.  People talking.  Music playing.  It jars at your mind in just the right way.  It’s hard to get lost in thought when so much is going on around you, which in this case is good.  Why?  If you were just rejected, you want your thoughts anywhere but on that fact.  If you’re like me, you’ll also enjoy people watching as an added bonus.
  5. Write a letter to a friend. I know, how old fashioned!  Still though, when you’re writing someone a letter, you automatically feel required to write more than just a quick hello.  You should take the opportunity to catch them up on your life.  And, guess what?  Now, you’re forced to think about everything else going on in your life.  Your puppy is now a dog.  You’re up for a promotion at work.  Your family is about to visit.  You live in a nice area.  You just met someone as wacky as you are.  Hell, even tell them what you made for dinner the night before.  It doesn’t matter!

The Smokies

Here’s a picture of my ever-pale self in the Smokies!  This particular hike was 2 miles each way, so a total of 4 miles.  It was rather flat, but as you can see the scenery was beautiful.  It also was quite inspiring!  As I wrote a fairy short story titled “Between the Trees” that will hopefully find a home soon!

Chapter 4: Wandering with No Destination

We’ve grown up hearing the idiom repeated in our ear “Don’t judge a book by its over.”  When it comes to people, I wholeheartedly agree with what it stands for.  With books, however, I’ve always been guilty of falling into its temptations.  A distinct memory in my head is at SuperCon this past year deciding between two books (of the same author) to buy and choosing the one I did simply because the cover reminded me of a magical journal.  I had literally nothing else to go off of because the sales pitch from the author for each appealed to me equally.

We’re all guilty of it.  You walk through a bookstore or library, your finger dragging against the spines of books, until you see something – a picture, a font – that catches your eye.  It’d be a lie to claim you go through every single plot summary to make your choice; there’s simply not enough time.

The exception of this is when you have a specific author or series in mind.  You make a beeline for their spot on the shelf, buy what you went for, and possibly let yourself dally around that section for anything else that catches your eye.  Personally, I’m a user of Goodreads and have found it immensely helpful.

What does this mean for writers?  After we put our heart and soul into our imagined (yet so incredibly real) world, potential readers could pass it by on a whim based on our cover.  As previously stated, I’ve never published a book, so I have little insight on the workings of how a cover gets chosen.

There’s still a different market to consider, though.  In my first post I mentioned how my sister, Kristen, is an Indie author.  That term might’ve been new to some of you, so let me take the time now to explain: When someone is called an “Indie author,” it means that they decided to publish their book without going through the conventional processes.  Instead of querying to agents and publishing agencies, the author instead self-publishes via a large distributer such as Amazon.

It’s given authors a chance to get their books out there without anyone believing in them, which I think is just fantastic.  The trick, though, is that sometimes when a book is rejected, it’s because it’s not fine-tuned to its greatest potential yet.  So, before I go any further, I’d like to encourage you to let a book rest for a while after a few rejections.  Work on a different story – or possibly several – and you’ll naturally become a better writer.  That in itself is a simple concept; practice makes perfect.  However, patience is a struggle (at least for me).

The perseverance to let a loved novel sit on your computer untouched is a feat that I’m struggling with currently.  I’m almost done with writing a completely different novel, with my first novel seemingly neglected in one of my laptop’s many folders.  Why?  Because, I want to look at it unbiasedly.  My heart has been given a six month break of getting to know those characters day after day.  I can only hope that when I look back at it, I’ll be able to truly tell if it’s ready for the world to see.

As startup authors, the idea of an eBook provides us with an advantage when it comes to the idea of becoming Indie authors.  We only have to pay a freelance editor and book cover artist (mind you, those are several hundred dollars, so this isn’t a pain-free road) and then we can put our books out in the world no matter how many times an agent told us it was a “hard sell.”

Book covers and whatnot suddenly become less important, as a lot of the major buying platforms have a “based on recent purchases” tab where it suggests other books that you’ll probably love.  The cover is still important in that moment, of course, but at the very least our stories have the potential to be suggested by a different convention from us begging our family members for an extra sale.

This might sound silly, but I would suggest reading the poorly written stories with low stars that are sold for free (usually they’ll be the first in a series) by Indie authors, and then compare those to ones that have done well in the eBook world.  Why?  It’s easy to read a stranger’s book and go “okay, well they’re doing this wrong.”

It’s nice to then go and write notes about what you don’t like.  Then, go through your own story, and be honest about yourself with possible instances where you’re guilty of the same.  There are two sides to every coin, though!  You should also take note of authors who do something really well that you struggle with.  For example, I’m working on scene description.  I’m not quite an expert yet at setting the scene and depicting it in such a way that makes my readers feel as if they’re standing there, but yet not going on and on for paragraphs without losing the pace I want.

Personally, I’m a large fan of Erin Morgenstern’s book, The Night Circus (click here or below to purchase!).  It’s been my favorite stand-alone book for a while, and upon one of my recent reads (I’ve probably read it more than five times in the last three years alone) realized one of the reasons why I’m so drawn to it – the very same thing that I personally have not yet mastered.  Morgenstern is an expert at slipping in details throughout scenes – not just giving you descriptions to paint the picture with the correct colors, but also stringing together words in a way that grasp at your emotions.  Now, I’m about to read through it again with a specific focus towards those details.  How does she describe her characters?  Scenery?  Action scenes?  Magic?  Romantic tension?  These are talents of hers that I wish to possess, and plan to gain with her unintended assistance.

One helpful hint I heard once was to focus on the five senses: the flickering of the light that has your character on edge; the first taste of chocolate on his starved tongue; the air suddenly becoming hot with tension, your character sweating as she refuses to break; the buzz of bees becoming louder, or possibly everything becomes quiet as your character’s focus is consumed by anger; how her love interest strangely always smells of peppermint.

So, what’s the point of all this rambling?  Honestly, I don’t entirely have one, but here’s my final random thought.  Utilize multiple drafts.  Dedicate one entire draft to fixing your biggest weakness.  I literally am going through my current in-the-works and just adding small details here and there where I think it’s lacking.  It’s provoking new scenes altogether, because forcing myself to be this attentive to detail apparently stimulates my imagination.  Really, I think it’s just giving me a clearer lens to this paranormal universe.  Either way, it’s worth it.

Those beta readers that you hopefully found after reading my first blog post?  Ask them what your biggest weakness is.  Don’t be sensitive.  Use what they say constructively.  Denial won’t better your book.